Martin, best man at the wedding, stood perfectly still, aware of his necklace of flowers. His smile acknowiedged the importance of the proceedings at river's edge. His dignity was impeccable, the ultimate for any black lab. Every photograph of this summer ceremony included Martin in his glory. His steadfast presence was a delight and made everyone happy to be there.

Martin perhaps wouldn't be welcome in church, but our heart values recognize the importance to his family, and so he fits in by the river's edge. The fact is that non- traditional and non-denominational weddings are now in favor with many. Abandoning early religious convictions and observances; there is now a search for Spirit, simplicity, meaning and peace. My ceremony is gentle, it positive, and it points a clear path toward building a Spiritual partnership. It is informal, comfortable, we laugh and we weep. It offers a belief system of peace, trust and the universal power of love and forgiveness. We speak of happiness, truth, giving unconditional love, honoring our connection with all beings and thanking our ancestors.

I am deeply grateful to be doing this work of healing and helping to create healthy, understanding relationships. I am an ordained Minister and Bishop in the Eternal Life Church, a New Mexico corporation, which like a church of tomorrow, is without walls or doctrine, giving personal responsibility to each member, so that the Inner Voice becomes our authority. My spiritual path is called A Course In Miracles. My ceremonies are held in chapels, homes, gardens and our beautiful mountains, usually a place that makes our heat sing. Besides performing 92 weddings last year, I bless babies, new homes, our AIDS garden, the Rape Crisis Center, the Legislature, national organizations, new trees and lead parades. For me, each day seems more satisfying and fulfilling than the last.

Another wedding started with a phone call from a Seattle couple, who frazzled and stressed with planning a large affair, decided instead to chuck it all for a simple Santa Fe wedding. They found my small ad in the Visitor's Guide, as well as on the Internet. The fact that I am an Elder, a Santa Fe Living Treasure, and was voted "Best Presider for an Alternative Marriage"; by the city, gave them confidence to call. We talked of a date, a location and other ideas, after which I sent them my business card and brochure.

During the second phone call I gave them names and numbers of places to stay, more locations, a photographer (or bring their own camera), a florist and my fee. It is most satisfying to make your own arrangements. They wanted only their two best friends, to accompany them which is a peaceful and practical decision. This eliminates the social stress, it saves money, and most important, allows for a quiet and meaningful experience. I assured them that Santa Fe is the perfect place for a wedding - with its beauty, history and charm. And what better place to return for anniversaries!

After the couple arrived in town, we scheduled a meeting at my condo, which is close to the Plaza. Here we get acquainted, discuss the ceremony and talk about including stories and personal events. I mention the realities of altitude adjustment, and also do counseling of a practical nature, ie., save your marriage before it starts. They get a marriage license at the County Courthouse, which is 2 blocks from the Plaza, for which a drivers license is needed as identification. The only other requirement is that there be two witnesses, while no waiting time is necessary. So that takes care of Weddings 101.

On with the story. The special day is here. I meet the couple at a beautiful garden. They can dress up or down, whatever is comfortable and appropriate. It is fall, with blue sky, gorgeous clouds, our warm sun overhead, we choose a place under a cottonwood with a view of the mountains. We stand together in a circle, while I read the short ceremony from a calligraphed, handmade book. We share loving notes from family and the couple speaks softly to one another, we bless the rings, and I invite them to plant a tree in honor of this day. When the ceremony is over, we fill out the license, which is mailed in to the county, completing the legalities.

The couple was pleased with their decision. After returning home, they had a reception for friends. At the party they had someone read aloud the ceremony and showed pictures of all that happened. They also gave xeroxed copies of the ceremony as gifts to all. This way the wedding was shared, they were relaxed, giving others a model for avoiding stress.

In summary, non-traditional weddings are "right" for a lot of people. They are not religious, they are spiritual. They reflect personal beliefs of simplicity, truth and authenticity. Knowing there is another way, other than the shoulds and musts of old rules and rigidity; choices are made for a ceremony of informality, comfort, inspiration, meaning and Spirit. The intimacy is profound, words cannot capture the essence of holiness that has been experienced.